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Location: Kansas City, Missouri, United States

Doing my part to irritate Republicans, fundamentalists, bigots and other lower life forms.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Picking a winner in the olympics of delusion

Sometimes it's hard to pick a gold medalist in the olympics of delusion. A few weeks ago I would have put money on all those "ex-gays" running around and proclaiming their heterosexuality while oogling hot guys in the hope of gaining some decent, erection-inspiring fantasy material for the next time they have the obligatory twice-a-year sex with their wives. Then there was dark-horse candidate the Rev. Lonnie Latham, the Southern Baptist leader who was picked up in Oklahoma City for propositioning a male undercover cop for a little weinie-chugging back at his motel room and then tried to explain away the arrest by claiming his was "ministering" to the wayward flock around the infamous Habana Inn.

But lately my money's on the Log Cabin Republicans. Not only do they give great delusion, but they can trump that act with moral indignation when theie delusions get shattered and they come face-to-face with the fact that their party really does hate them.

Case in point: Last week the St. Petersburg Times reported that the Florida Republican Party was virtually bankrolling the effort to get a statewide ban on same-sex marriages on the ballot in 2006.

Of the $193,000 that has been raised by, the political committee working to amend the state constitution to ban gay marriage, $150,000 of it came in a single donation from the Florida Republican Party. That's over three-quarters of the money raised by the anti-gay group.

Amusingly, even with the infusion of GOP money, the petition seeking to put the ballot measure before voters is still less than halfway to the 600,000 signatures needed by the Feb. 1 deadline.

Now enter the South Florida chapter of the Log County Republicans who were shocked - Shocked! I say! - to discover that their own party was turning on the money spigot to fund an effort aimed at marginalizing them. According to the Jan. 14 Orlando Sentinel, Jack Majeske, president of the Broward Log Cabin Club, a gay-conservative group, said he would file the grievance against the Florida Republican Party over the donation.

I really try to understand the Log Cabin Republicans. I can accept that they are interested in lower taxes and opposed to government spending on social programs. I can even accept that they believe they are working to change the Republican Party from within.

What I can't accept is that they believe that deep down the Republican party really gives a rat's ass about them when it continually works to to undo every modest gain the LGBT community has made over the past quarter of a century.

Certainly there exist moderate Republicans ... or at least those who don't start spitting venom like a cobra on crystal meth at the mere mention of LGBT rights. But as a whole, the Republican Party will care about gays at only two times: First, when they want to give the impression they really are a bunch of good ol' compassionate conservatives under a great big tent (nudge, wink, snicker); and second, when they want to scare the shit out of their knnuckle-dragging, mouth-breathing base and get them to the polls to vote against that homo-seck-shul agenda (and, just incidentally, to vote for decent, God-fearin' Republicans in the process).

You'd think that after a while the Log Cabinites would wise up and realize they are being trotted out by the GOP to serve as the boogieman to scare voters to the polls. Sometimes I think Log Cabinites are a bit like battered wives who stay with their abusive husbands and somehow learn to believe they deserve all the smacks and insults and black eyes they end up with at the hands of the GOP.

Whatever the reason - self-loathing masochism or delusional thinking - Log Cabin Republicans need to let go of the belief that they can change such a system of institutional bigotry and homophobia from within.