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Location: Kansas City, Missouri, United States

Doing my part to irritate Republicans, fundamentalists, bigots and other lower life forms.

Monday, May 22, 2006

Freddie Phelps' l'il cult of hate gets egg on its face ... among other places

You know it just had to happen. Someone was going to get fed up with Fred Phelps and his cult of inbred followers from Topeka's Westboro Baptist Church.

And sure enough, someone did!

From an Associated Press account of yet another one of Phelps' funeral demonstations - this one in the small town of Seaford, Delaware (population 6,000 or so) which has lost two young men in Iraq in less than two weeks:

Police were seen making several arrests and the state police helicopter had to be called into disperse the crowd after a clash Sunday in Seaford between a handful of anti-gay Kansas church members and hundreds of demonstrators supporting the American military.

Members of the Westboro Baptist Church came to Seaford’s Gateway Park to demonstrate before the funeral for Marine Corporal Cory Palmer, who died earlier this month from injuries suffered in Iraq. The group believes God is punishing America for being too tolerant of homosexuals by killing soldiers in Iraq and Afghanistan.

But they were far outnumbered by troop-supporting demonstrators. Some broke through police barricades, hurling insults and chicken eggs onto the anti-homosexual demonstrators.

As a Seaford volunteer fire company van came to pick the Kansas based group up, eggs and bottles were thrown at the fleeing group and then the crowd broke the police lines again, shattering the windows in the van.

Stephanie Hansen, a lawyer for the town of Seaford says the town did everything it could to protect the group.

Let me preface what I'm about to say by noting that I'm not an advocate of violence, but ...

Go, Seaford!

It's about friggin' time someone said "The hell with the First Amendment, you boil on the ass of humanity! You crossed the line of simple human decency long ago ... and now we're going to kick your ass!"

Phelps and his followers - mostly family members and those who have had the misfortune or poor taste to marry into the clan - will no doubt use the incident to play victim and cry about how persecuted they are as simple God-fearin', Bible-believin' Christians. Poor Fred! The only sympathy he gets from me is not from being pelted with eggs and bottles, but from being so tragically wrong about the meaning of the word "Christian."

A disbarred lawyer himself, Fred has made sure most of offspring from his withered loins went to law school. A good portion of the Phelps phamily phortune comes from cases the family has won against those who oppose him. No doubt he'll probably try to sue the town of Seaford for failing to protect his little band of cretins and miscreants. We can only hope that this time the judicial system has had enough of Fred's antics and tells him to stuff a sock in it because his funeral protests are reprehensible. Likewise, I hope the five people arrested for going after the Phelpses have their cases dismissed and are welcomed back into the community with a parade.

Finally, it looks like America is getting fed up with Fred.

"Victimhood" and potential lawsuits aside, I truly hope that as the crowd broke through police lines and rushed the demonstrators that the Phelpses experienced a moment of pure terror at the thought that they might be pulled to pieces at the hands of a mob. The only thing that could have made the moment more perfect would be if the Phelpses cried out in unison to whatever perverted version of God they pray to only to be answered by a loud, booming voice from above saying, "Go get them, Seaford!"

And on a personal note, I'm hoping Freddie and his freak show plans a trip to Kansas City soon. If they do, I'll make sure to visit the local dog park before hand. Eggs are expensive and bottles are recyclable. But a fresh pile of steaming dog shit is free and makes a much more powerful statement about Phelps and his family.