Penguin butt-sex and other worries of the lunatic right

Penguins are big with the whacko fundies this season. First they went after the children's book, And Tango Makes Three, a true story of two male penguins in New York's Central Park Zoo who care for an egg and raise the chick. Surely a subtle reference designed to promote the idea of gay adoptions!

Now, intent on removing all references to homosexuality ... oops! make that "homo-seck-shu-ality" in the vernacular of the religious reich ... those who would peek into everyone's bedrooms are finding sinister hints of gayness in kids' movies.

The object of their wrath? The movie Happy Feet, about a penguin who can't sing like the other penguins, but, boy can he dance.

Happy Feet has already rattled the right wing with its pro-environmental message and references to global warming (no doubt a subtle endorsement for Al Gore to make another run for the presidency in 2008). Now it has apparently caught the attention of the anti-gay bigots for its lead character who is "different" from the other penguins. Differtness, it seems, is not only suspect among the religiously addicted crowd, it's also a code for ... you know ... homo-seck-shul butt sex!

No less an authority than James Dobson, arch-homophobe and founder of the extremist fringe hate group Focus on the Family, weighed in on perverted penguins on his show earlier this week. He was discussing the film with washed-up right-wing movie critic Michael Medved, according to the media watchdog web site, Media Matters for America:

During the December 11 edition of his Focus on the Family broadcast, FOF founder and chairman James Dobson hosted syndicated conservative radio host Michael Medved to discuss the film Happy Feet (Warner Bros., November 2006), an animated feature about penguins living in Antarctica during a period of environmental upheaval. Medved claimed that the film contains a "subtext, as there so often is, about homosexuality," prompting Dobson to wonder whether the filmmakers are "getting at the idea that homosexuality is genetic."

As Media Matters for America has noted, in a November 17 entry, titled "Don't Be Misled By Crappy Feet," on his Townhall.com weblog, Medved called the animated movie, "the darkest, most disturbing feature length animated film ever offered by a major studio." He further alleged that the film contains "a bizarre anti-religious bias" and "a subtext that appears to plead for endorsement of gay identity." Medved also attacked Happy Feet in a November 29 op-ed in USA Today for its purported "pro-environmental" propaganda, as Media Matters also documented.

You know, there are medications that can treat the type of paranoia exhibited by Medved, though I seriously doubt he'd avail himself of that sort of therapy. No doubt he makes a buttload of cash pushing his delusions to the easily panicked sheep on the far right. But I digress. Medved's mental health issues aside, here's a transcript of Dobson and Medved chatting about penguin perversion:

MEDVED: And then there's this whole subtext, as there so often is, about homosexuality. Not that the penguins are gay -- they're not gay -- but the one penguin hero doesn't fit in and the religious authorities -- the so-called religious right in the penguin world -- are very judgmental. They say, "You are not a penguin. You're not a real penguin." And then he makes this heartfelt plea, he says, "Dad, you have to accept me as I am. I can't change." And --

DOBSON: Are they getting at the idea that homosexuality is genetic? Is that what the subtle implication is?

MEDVED: Well, how many times do we hear that in the media? That it's not a matter of choice, it's not a matter of change, and my problem with that -- as I understand, that there are some people, who -- for whom that may be true, but they're other people -- and you and I know them -- who have changed their lives and have turned around their lives.

In just a few short sentences, Medved and Dobson manage to tie an animated penguin who can't sing like the other penguins to bashing the religious right for being "very judgmental" (here's a hint guys: they ARE judgmental!) and then promote the sickness known as the "ex-gay" movement.

Wow! Are these guys good or what? I think we should get them started on digging for more evidence of a "homo-seck-shul agenda" in other kids' stories. At least that would keep them busy for a while and cause them to leave the reality-based world alone.

I'll even get them started with a few suggestions they may want to check into:

Peter Pan - all that stuff about the "Lost Boys" is surely a code for something unsavory! (Kind of makes you understand why Michael Jackson called his ranch Neverland!)

Dumbo - Now there's a character who's different from the rest of the elephants and thanks to Michael Meved's exceptional mind we now know that different equals gay. And besides, Dumbo's relationship with that mouse is just plain unnatural!

Cinderella - Ever see the two mice in the Disney version? Gay, gay, gay!

The Ugly Duckling - Oh my Gawd! That duck is DIFFERENT from the others! And the story was written by Hans Christian Andersen, a known homo!

Warner Brothers cartoons - Just why was Bugs Bunny so willing to put on a dress to fool simple-minded "wabbit" hunter Elmer Fudd? No doubt Elmer's a symbolic swipe at the religious right who would like to do some of their own homo huntin'.

There you go, Jimmy and Mikey. There's some ideas to start you out. Now go do your research about how there's a big conspiracy to promote that homo-seck-shul agenda you both keep harping about ... and leave the rest of us the fuck alone.